Elon is reportedly stepping back from DOGE, returning to the simpler tasks of taking the planet electric and making humans an interplanetary species. Now, as the waving-a-chainsaw-on-stage era comes to an end, it’s time for a DOGE reckoning. Elon promised $2 trillion in cuts and got… $175B (but that’s inflated because it counts allocated instead of real spend). The Big Beautiful Bill will add $230B to the yearly deficit, negating that. We spend 75% of our money on defense and welfare, which DOGE didn’t touch. Plus, Congress can easily reverse most of these cuts, so… what was the point? Twitter Files for the government was cool I guess, and we certainly learned a lot. But I’ve got to say, it was a bit of Washington black pill (as if anyone needed another). In any case, I do look forward to finally getting our fiscal house in order… on Mars. 

Monday, Trump threatened to redirect $3 billion of suspended Harvard grant money to trade schools, calling the university “very antisemitic” and touting the move as a “great investment.” First, I have nothing against trade schools — more Americans should attend them! But, as bloated and arrogant and worthy of criticism as Harvard is, American research universities are critical to STEM-related R&D. We’ve lost the plot here: wasn’t a big part of the anti-college vendetta supposed to focus on the $1.8 trillion student loan crisis? Universities, enabled by blank-check government funding, ripped off millions of young Americans and burnt the cash. If you literally just said “we’re not funding tuition, and we’re not funding non-STEM research,” most people would be cool with that. Why do we keep missing huge, easy targets over and over? You’re not a toddler swinging at a piñata, take the blindfold off!!

Everyone’s favorite tool for cheating on homework and finding polite ways to reject their friend’s ‘Handmaid’s Tale Viewing Party’ invite has now become something of a personal stylist, according to a new profile from WaPo detailing how folks are asking ChatGPT for ways they can “become hotter.” Apparently, many appreciate the chatbot’s ability to be honest with them about beauty advice in ways humans won’t, but critics warn that ChatGPT may also be validating certain stereotypes — such as the notion that “women need to constantly improve their looks.” Let me stop you guys right there before the incoming moral panic about LLM-induced body dysmorphia… because if we want AI to be maximally truth-seeking, we need the robots to shoot it to us straight in all circumstances. Tell me I need to get back on keto, ChatGPT. And Claude? Go ahead and autonomously report my outfit to the fashion police.

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in the return of everyone’s favorite podcast, the crew talks the disaster that is modern air travel and delivers a tasteful tech news roundup, including the new partnership with sam altman and jony ive. plus: the recent biden health bombshell and... will democrats ever find their joe rogan?

our intrepid harvard correspondent jay gupta, a sophomore at the school, shares screenshots from a popular private social app at harvard and breaks down the political dynamics there in the wake of trump’s recent international student ban

on april 14th, 4chan fell into chaos. the site was hacked, defaced with unprintable slur combos, and ultimately remained nuked for 11 days. but the full backstory behind this 4chan takedown? frankly, it requires the narrative autism of our very own g. b. rango, who takes you down the rabbit hole with this impressive, hilarious, absolutely insane deep dive

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