- Another day, another crisis
- It’s okay to like things
- Maple-flavoured propaganda
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Another day, another crisis |
By Monday, with global stocks crashing and America’s foremost financial experts / covid experts / pod boys absolutely losing it online, Trump officially secured his newest trophy: it was the worst three-day performance on Wall Street since 1987. In tech, Elon spent the weekend signaling dissatisfaction with the administration’s trade policy, joining a broad coalition of angry libertarians, globalists, “thoughtful centrists” (globalists), leftists who still hate free trade (but less than they hate Trump), and basically all rich people. Randomly, the NYT published a beautiful story on the southern shrimping industry, where fishermen are feeling hopeful? But altogether we remain in discourse chaos over a “financial crisis” Trump can end at any moment — something critics acknowledge, necessarily, while asserting he wants the “crisis” to persist. So take solace in what they say by accident, I guess: this can
end, and eventually will, at any random moment.
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White Lotus’ third season wrapped Sunday night, concluding eight weeks of great TV and a microeconomy of barfy criticism. There’s the elites who think they’re being elite by saying only elites like the show; the virtue-signalers (I guess the resort for tourists… doesn’t feature enough people from Thailand); and, finally, the pearl-clutching Karens (see: incest tie-ins). Here’s an accessible take: suck my nuts. The show slapped, and roughly 18 million people agree with me. The season’s projected viewers place it among HBO’s biggest recent hits — because it, once again, turned humanity’s most embarrassing, redemptive, and therefore universal traits into living characters (aka, slapped). Being from NC, I met that Xanax’ed-out housewife in many church committees and country clubs, with her moral inversion and occasionally provocative wisdom (yes, her daughter is using spirituality to
run away). A triumph so clear that *snorts the colosseum dirt* even the fickle crowd can recognize it.
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Maple-flavoured propaganda |
Canada has purchased billboard ads in 12 mostly Republican states, featuring messages like “TARIFFS ARE A TAX.” The government says they’re an “educational campaign to inform Americans” on how tariffs create “increased costs,” a claim that’s prompted moderate criticism, as for decades Canada has imposed 300% tariffs on dairy, 238% tariffs on poultry, 246% tariffs on ice cream (sobs), and various other tariff/tax/regulatory burdens on its citizens in order to prop up a fake and g*y Mr. Burns-style oligopoly. Doubtless the blob state marketers responsible think these billboards are a Sun Tzu-tier strategy, but I’ve channeled Don Draper to spot a few flaws: like running French translations in Georgia (where no one speaks French), saying ‘tariffs increase your groceries’ in Florida (where no one buys Canadian groceries), and finally, forgetting the ultimate legacy of Justin ‘Vitiligo Jackson’
Trudeau: no one cares what CCP-sponsored syrup eaters have to say anymore. GFY!
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Trump can tariff Chinese steel.
He can tariff Canadian timber — and yes, even their syrup.
He can slap a duty on mackerel exports from the Heard and McDonald Islands.
But by God, there are still two things he can’t tariff:
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