Over the weekend, as scrutiny over former President Biden’s “hidden” case of (apparently) dementia reached a fever pitch, the New York Times discovered he also had an aggressive form of prostate cancer that reached his bones. Biden’s team announced he had only received the diagnosis Friday, but media consensus — in large part driven by an army of special guest star doctors who once met Biden at a function or something — seems to be he likely knew during his presidency. And yeah, I have questions. Most importantly: who the hell was running our country last year? But even I’m having a hard time watching what is obviously a human sacrifice. Journalists are scapegoating Biden’s team for covering up ‘the truth about his health,’ which they were themselves complicit in, while inner circle libs are leaking details they should have leaked years ago. Because this isn’t really a reckoning, this is a Democratic Party civil war.

This week in “Oh God,” Hims, in a viral ad, showcased its 4-in-1 pill for stronger erections (tadalafil), thicker hair (minoxidil), less hair loss (finasteride), and “added support” (supplements). Ah, the unseen tide of progress inching us forward; aka, “There’s something extremely wrong with this company and I can’t put my finger on it,” as one X user said. You’re correct, faceless person, and that thing you can’t quite name is called the dick pills rubicon. Direct-to-consumer healthcare companies never quite cross it. In setting out to build a virtual, comprehensive clinic of the future to save us all, they tell themselves that dick pills are a cash cow means to an end. But because healthcare is hard (no pun intended), they get stuck peddling dick pills, then 2-in-1 dick pills, then 3-in-1 dick pills, and finally 4-in-1 dick pills. Alas, I cannot help but conclude the future is not nigh. Though the prospect of a 978-in-1 dick pill (inevitable) is, at least, funny.

Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson made waves with his response to critics who claim he exclusively hires black people. “When you hire our people, we always look out for everybody else,” the Mayor explained (of black people), adding “we [black people] are the most generous people on the planet.” Initially I was confused, as it appeared Johnson admitted to illegally staffing the government of America’s third-largest city based entirely on race. But then I dug deeper and saw this “generosity” at work: not only is Chicago America’s slowest-growing major city (smaller crowds, anyone?). Not only does Chicago’s government own more pension debt than 7 American states (they pay their people well). But the city also typically has more homicides than LA and NYC combined (constant gunfire = keeps citizens alert). So don’t listen to the haters who call your city a “hellhole” or your hiring practices “literally illegal,” Mayor Johnson. They just don’t know what generosity looks like.

xAI’s valuation surged 63.3% last quarter on Augment after its merger with X and the rapid rollout of its AI products into a live social environment.* Elon Musk’s vision for xAI is not just to compete with OpenAI but to build an intelligence layer trained on the uncensored internet, integrated into X, Tesla, and potentially Neuralink. This is the foundation for AI that interacts in real-time across text, voice, robotics, and decision-making systems.

Augment Markets makes these moments visible. A platform where accredited investors access private securities, employees gain liquidity, and real-time pricing removes the guesswork. Because by the time xAI scales across industries, the opportunity to join early will be gone.

*Estimates based on Augment Capital’s ATS platform data, using starting share price January 1st vs. the ending price on March 31st, 2025. 

Securities offered through Augment Capital, LLC, member FINRA/SIPC. While some private companies may experience significant valuation increases, private investments carry substantially higher risks than public securities.

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harvard sophomore jay gupta takes a closer look at sidechat, a social app for college students, illustrating how student activists are using the app to anonymously organize protests and stoke political division on his school’s campus

over 1,000 ai-related laws have been drafted since gavin newsom vetoed sb 1047, a draconian bill that would have created a new state agency to govern ai and effectively regulate the industry nationwide. but a new measure in congress seeks to put a moratorium on ai legislation at the state level. brian chau explains why this is a moment of truth for startup influence in d.c.

the left-wing streamer claimed he was detained for 2 hours by customs and border patrol. the problem? it was a total lie. ashley breaks down the saga and the media’s subsequent hysterical reaction

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