Yesterday morning, Rippling CEO Parker Conrad announced he was suing his competitor Deel after catching a spy his rival allegedly embedded at his company. Ultimately, after the secret agent was discovered and confronted, he locked himself in a bathroom, refused to hand his phone to court-appointed solicitors, and fled the building (from a window, I’m presuming, for no other reason than it is the funniest possible thing). Mostly, everyone is on Parker’s side, but I have noticed quite a few unsavory individuals (spies themselves, perhaps) mention Parker shouldn’t need to sue a rival if he has a better product. But this really only reads to me like someone who has never built a company. If I caught a spy sending my secrets to The New York Times? There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make sure nobody else would ever try. Sure, I’m a Christian. But Jesus will forgive me. Get his ass, king.

Following a crackdown on upvoting “violent content,” a moderator on r/popculture has been suspended, and Redditors are freaking out. “Apparently saying ‘luigi’ is now against the rules,” lamented one user, devastated at the thought of no longer being able to hero-worship their favorite heartthrob assassin. And for sure, it would be insane if Reddit banned all mention of Luigi Mangione, but that doesn’t seem to be what’s happening. Per a statement from the company, the r/popculture moderator was actually suspended for upvoting “comments containing direct calls for violence, including… calling to assassinate the president.” Sorry, freaks, it looks like you — not “late-stage capitalism” — are once again the problem. But call me when they start taking down your posts about The Mandalorian, Long Covid, or whatever other shit you incels talk about. Oh, and one more thing: you’re 35, and your mother’s tired. It’s time to get your own apartment.

The FDA has initiated a crackdown on “poppers” — a nitrite-based inhalant popular among the gays — and I’m strapping in to get to the bottom of this story. After a major supplier shut down following an FDA search and seizure, other brands scrubbed their internet presence, triggering an uproar on one of my primary sources for this take: r/AskGayBrosOver30. It’s “the next christo-fascist focus,” says one user. “It’s step one. Fascism and genocide doesn’t start with concentration camps,” says another. Idk guys, this drug does seem kinda sketchy, and while I’m with you on doubting the current HHS Secretary’s theory that poppers cause AIDS, I’m equally doubtful that banning this butthole-loosening paint thinner huff drug is “re-criminalizing sexuality” and “a sign of rising fascism.” Call me Adolf Putler if you want, but I think everyone — bottoms included — can appreciate that sniffing paint thinner is probably not good for you.

You wake up, and your Neuralink chip is already at work. Grok AI serves up the tastiest tweets of the day, seamlessly injected into thought. “Haha. Banger,” you think to yourself. Your schedule is optimized, emails answered, meetings arranged — before you even realize you had things to do.

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jake adler is a 20-year-old founder building nerve agent vaccines, biothreat detection systems, and more as the founder of pilgrim, his thiel-backed biotech startup. just how hardcore is he? recently, jake sent us a video in which he cuts holes into his own legs in order to test pilgrim’s rapid wound-healing adhesives (we’re not joking). our own g. b. rango talked to this... dedicated young founder about his plans for rethinking defensive biotech in this fascinating company spotlight

this week, the crew talks elon taking hits from all angles (more protests/attacks on tesla cars and charging stations, stonks dipped, and oh yeah,  that cyberattack on X). plus: immigration authorities detain columbia university’s mahmoud khalil, sam altman previews ai shakespeare, and... the gavin newsom-steve bannon crossover we’ve all been waiting for??

almost all of the energy in llms goes to general-purpose models, competing on general-purpose, question-answering benchmarks. but there are many more — and more practical — ways we could be using llms: how about translating any piece of text ever written into plain, easy-to-understand language? ai and science researcher / palantir veteran sarah constantin shares her ideas for actually making practical, everyday use of large language models in this savvy guest piece for pirate wires

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