Yesterday, following a major cyber attack, X was down throughout the day. Or, on and off. Elon still managed to blame the hack on Ukraine, while a “pro-Palestinian” group of hackers took credit, and Anonymous accused Elon of hosting X from Russia. Reid Hoffman denied Elon’s claims that he was funding Tesla protests, Elon asked Reid what his favorite island is (a nod to Jeffrey Epstein), and Reid responded with a screenshot of Tesla’s cratering market cap (congrats, I guess, on all those protests you didn’t fund). A busy day for a site that wasn’t working, but in those brief moments X was actually down? Listen, the break was kind of nice. Rest is lindy, we should work it back into our lives, and I know just where to start: can we please just close the internet on Sundays, and at least take back our weekend? Think it over. I’m going for walk.

Over 350k Canadians have signed a petition urging Canada to revoke Elon’s citizenship, claiming Musk has “used his wealth and power to influence our elections” (?), “engaged in activities that go against the national interest” (??), and “become a member of a foreign government that is attempting to erase Canadian sovereignty” (I love boomers). But while signatories are doubtless the same people who, up until about 30 seconds ago, could spend 9 consecutive hours describing how their Tesla purchase was ‘making a difference’ (after a lifetime of wanton McMansion consumption), I have to concede they’ve accidentally arrived at a good point: dual citizenship is fake and shouldn’t exist. Pretty simple, really: do you want to be one of us or not? Citizenship is an oath of loyalty, you can’t be loyal to two countries at once, and all nations — including Canada — should make everyone kiss the ring. Even Rocketman.

Homeless encampments are being cleared out in Washington, D.C. after threats from the Trump administration (as opposed to D.C. Mayor Bowser having a sudden epiphany that shooting fentanyl in the street is bad). “We have notified the Mayor of Washington, D.C. that she must clean up all of the unsightly homeless encampments in the City,” Trump Truthed recently. “If she is not capable of doing so, we will be forced to do it for her!” Beautiful, Mr. President — but if local leaders need to be threatened into ensuring Washington isn’t a shithole, do they really deserve to govern it in the first place? After all, the D.C. Home Rule Act wasn’t passed until 1973, and technically the Constitution grants ultimate legislative authority over the District to Congress. So before we secure Moon and Greenland, maybe we should consider taking back our own capital. I’m sure Thomas Jefferson would appreciate fewer schizophrenic breakdowns by his memorial. 

“America’s publicly traded startups valued over $10 billion are approximately 70 times more valuable than Europe’s.” Wow.

If we may humbly offer some advice to the EU: cut the red tape, allow your people to work in the month of August, and put your startups on a provider that automates payroll tax setup, ensures multi-state compliance, and streamlines international payments — aka Warp.

Learn more today and receive a $200 Amazon gift card.

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this week, the crew talks trump’s address to congress, al green’s removal, and all those protest bingo paddles. plus: the decline of decorum, dems are lost right now (is podcaster gavin newsom their savior?), and aella joins the show to talk her “whatever pod” appearance and all things sex

by most measures, violent crime is down across us cities since the pandemic — but household items are still under lock and key at cvs, and our cities still feel lawless. charles fain lehman is up with a smart piece on american disorder: how it’s harder to track and more taboo to discuss than “crime,” but still eroding our urban areas nonetheless

with the next “optimal launch window” to mars opening up in approximately 600 days, what should we ship to the planet in order to set our first martian base up for success? check out former nasa engineer casey handmer’s eye-opening deep dive on this question below

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