Today, the Mexican government begins oral arguments before the United States Supreme Court in its suit against American gun manufacturers, which Mexico alleges are responsible for the ongoing third world cartel problem they’ve failed to address for half a century. While this is the sort of logic we’ve come to expect from Sheinbaum, Mexico’s socialist president, the cartel stuff is especially curious. Remember, Sheinbaum separately condemned America’s designation of her drug cartels as terrorist organizations. So which is it? Do you care about eliminating the cartels or not, and if you do, why wouldn’t you want U.S. military support against the gangs you’re legally alleging are disastrous for your country? Unless of course your government is run by cartels, and you — much like the cartel bosses you’re defending — are just looking to rob us. But I’ll leave that one to another (inevitable) late-night tweet storm from the White House.

Apple’s long-promised “Apple Intelligence” upgrade for Siri has been pushed back yet again, with the “conversational” version now delayed until 2027. The company that pioneered the smartphone revolution is now struggling to roll out a voice-first chatbot despite the fact that OpenAI — their primary AI partner — shipped world-class conversational voice models in 2024. Meanwhile, on the other side of the Pacific, Chinese company WMDoll just launched an AI-powered sex doll that is fully conversational (and reportedly whispers phrases like “two minutes is awesome” for insecure, fast-finishing users). All of this raises an important, if uncomfortable point for America’s most dominant tech industry titan: we are living in a new world. There are startups out here spinning up lifelike robot prostitutes that lie in order to protect male egos. If you’re stuck in R&D hell, planning a two-year rollout for something that already feels outdated? You’re not gonna make it.

Last weekend, after a knife-wielding assailant tried to stab two people in Boston and chased his victims into a Chick-fil-A, Mayor Michelle Wu offered sympathy for the attacker, who was apprehended and killed by an off-duty police officer. “My condolences… are with the family of the individual whose life has been lost,” Mayor Wu said of the attempted killer. For those keeping score at home: yes, this is the same Mayor Wu who once threw a “whites excluded” dinner party for Boston elected officials, and who refuses to cooperate with ICE, even after an illegal immigrant was caught in the Boston area using a state-subsidized hotel room as a place to stash his illegal AR-15s and $1M worth of fentanyl (real story!). But as crazy as this all is, I have to say it’s great Bostonians finally know how to get their racist mayor to care about their needs: simply try to kill someone.

“We should put ‘Moon Should Be a State’ in Times Square.”

That’s what Chris and Adam at AdQuick told us. We thought about it for half a second and said, yeah, you’re right.

What started as an online rallying cry is now a seven-story, 10,000-square-foot Nasdaq billboard towering over New York.

IRL ads are unskippable. People share them. They signal you’re larger than life.

You have considered Greenland. You have considered Canada. Dear Mr. President, may we humbly suggest…

Moon Should Be a State.

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