Friday, Apple disabled its Advanced Data Protection for UK iPhone users after years of pressure from England’s government to build a backdoor into its citizens’ devices, allowing authorities to access their photos, documents, and other assets stored in iCloud. Online, cybersecurity bros called the outcome “very disappointing” and an “act of self harm” by UK regulators, but that does not go nearly far enough. The European Union has screamed about “privacy” for over a decade — as we’re all reminded every time we log onto a website and are forced to “accept cookies” on a different continent — but this is unambiguous proof the old continent is far less liberal than our own. Europoors can carry on screeching that America is fascist because our VP said free speech is good when he was in Germany, but look inward. And if you like what you see? Trust me, you are not the good guy.

Archaeologists discovered the tomb of an ancient Egyptian pharaoh this week, revealing a trove of furniture, decor, and religious texts in the first excavation of its kind in over 100 years. And it got me thinking — with many tombs already discovered by Napoleon’s day, King Tut’s 1922 tomb discovery served as an unwitting bookend to that era. After that? Not a lot of Indiana Jonesing. Sure, we built the bomb and put a man on the Moon, but adventure and discovery for the sake of it isn’t really on the menu anymore, and that’s a shame. Discoveries of ancient treasures need not feel confined to Brendan Fraser movies. There are more tombs to discover, and whole new worlds up there calling. Also, have you never listened to Rogan? There are (probably! (well, maybe)) ancient civilizations underwater waiting for our attention. They say it’s a new Golden Age. Well, gentlemen, start digging.

Well, it looks like Hooters is running out of racks in their bank account, as the casual dining chain known for its well-endowed waitresses in tight T-shirts is preparing to file for bankruptcy. The company has seen a decline in foot traffic at its 300 nationwide locations, and while we’ve seen that trend at other casual restaurant chains (Friday’s, Red Lobster), the Hooters drop-off feels uniquely… dark? Keep in mind, as the restaurant’s share of patrons has been sagging, the U.S. birthrate has also been crashing. Are the two connected? I’m not saying I have any evidence (when do I) but it sounds like the high level problem we’re facing is young people no longer want to bang. Is it the 5G radiation? Microplastics? A secret new virus? A mystery. And sadly now, over the months to come, we won’t even be able to talk about it over beer and wings.

‘The Moon Should Be a State’ — a rallying cry, a vision shared by Pirates. For years, it lived online. But big ideas don’t belong on screens — they belong out in the world, impossible to ignore.

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