Over the weekend, President Trump posted a (possibly apocryphal) Napoleon quote on X: “He who saves his Country does not violate any Law.” The official White House account then reshared that post along with a post of the president’s mug shot. Immediately, Trump’s enemies (the entire global press) declared the language authoritarian, while the president’s allies (shitposters online) declared the language “gangster af,” and shared a bunch of fawning American flag emojis in response. But mostly I’m just frustrated. Generally, Trump embracing his mug shot is smart, not because being a criminal is good but because Trump survived an unfair persecution. Here, however, he reverses the message, not only implying any judges blocking his policies are correct, but everything Trump has achieved, no matter how great, is criminal. The press has largely lost its ability to hurt the administration. Unfortunately, I’m reminded the president is still quite capable of hurting himself.

Last week, as the press continued to blindly swing around crying, the New York Times produced another great hit — “Musk Staff Propose Bigger Role for A.I. in Education Department” — which framed DOGE’s efforts to replace some call center student loan tech support services with AI as self-dealing because the staffers who suggested it have “ties” to the tech industry. Incredibly, per the very same article, we discovered: 1) Accenture (awarded $700m since 2019 to run the call centers) already uses a “rudimentary” chatbot, 2) the call centers failed to answer 75% of the 5.4m calls they received in Q1 2024, and 3) “department officials [are] open to” LLMs. Nonetheless, DOGE is corrupt because some of its staff work in tech, and tech created AI (??). Wtf are we doing here, NYT? Defending a bloated substandard service is not a check on government power, it’s propaganda for a kleptocracy.

Last week, in a hostage video segment on Fox and Friends, NYC Mayor Eric Adams joined border czar Tom Homan to publicly pledge his cooperation with Trump on immigration enforcement. While Adams has previously given lip service to cracking down on illegal immigration, buddying up with Trump’s Harkonnen bounty hunter on live TV feels… different. So what explains the pivot? If it’s true that — as the media immediately began suggesting — Adams was merely holding up his end of the bargain after the Trump admin dropped criminal corruption charges against him, that’s probably not ideal. But (silver lining) it does mean we’ve finally found a way to get Democrats in charge of major cities to deport Venezuelan gang members: simply let them do a little crime. Horrible? Yes lol. But what can I say, I’m a glass of Tren de Aragua tears half full kinda guy.

It’s the clash of the tech titans. Elon and Sama — two men in the arena, now embroiled in a public, gloves-off quarrel. Threatening to buy each other’s platforms…rhyming each other’s names into insults…not-so-subtle jabs during interviews. It even has others in tech taking sides, and Warp — the payroll gurus we use here at Pirate Wires — would like to make their position clear. Ladies and gentlemen: Warp is unapologetically on the side of profit.

They also make taking home your profits easier with compliance done for you. Get a $200 Amazon gift card for learning more about Warp.

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this week on the pod, the crew covers the media’s reaction to trump’s executive orders (“constitutional crisis!”), the latest work of the doge team (“coup!”), and their deadnaming of our beautiful gulf of america. plus: the evolving elon vs. sam ai war. with pirate idol winners molly o’shea and kartik sathappan!

you’ve heard the latest ideas on american expansionism: take over the panama canal, co-opt greenland, make the moon a state (you’re welcome). now, tomas pueyo lays out a compelling case for another proposal — use our perpetual lease on guantanamo bay to turn it into the next hong kong

rfk has just been confirmed as hhs secretary, so what better time to document one new yorker’s war against the bougie, instagram-able restaurants cooking their fancy food in cheap seed oils. kevin takes us behind the scenes of seed oil scout’s health crusade: the victories, the lawsuits, and why this man put canola oil in his crosshairs to begin with

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