ATTENTION PIRATE NATION: Here comes Miami Tech Week. We’re hosting a happy hour in Wynwood next week, on Tuesday, April 8th. If you’re in town, sign up here and we’ll add you to the guest list. -SOLANA 🏴☠️
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- Ninja, please
- Science (n): the act of going bankrupt
- Brown’s Adminpocalypse Now
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The UK banned collectible ninja swords last week as part of an effort to (checks notes) crackdown on violent street crime, and PM Starmer’s out here tweeting “When we pledge action we take it,” like he just crushed Napoleon at Waterloo. Ninja, what? Obviously, this targets literal LARPers, instead of the people actually terrorizing neighborhoods — those dudes aren’t swinging $200 Etsy blades, they’re using whatever they find in grandma’s kitchen. This legislation is pure incel bait, aimed at the exact demo of alienated young men libs around the world swear need deradicalizing. And yes, these guys have plenty of reasons to feel lost — some legit, some not — but that doesn’t mean they’re itching to shank someone on the street. So, the fix is… criminalize their prized AnimeCon haul? Ban a nerd’s katana, and he’s no less radical — he’s just pissed. Nice work Keir, you’ve turned
autistic Naruto stans into full-time manifesto writers.
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Science (n): the act of going bankrupt |
Citing recent cuts by the Trump Administration, a bill introduced in California last week would give the state a new government agency that would serve as its own version of the NIH. “California is a global leader on science in our own right, and we must step in to protect our scientific institutions,” said the bill’s author, Scott Wiener (ahh, there it is). Pop quiz for our readers: how much of a budget deficit did this godforsaken state run up last fiscal year? $55 billion, according to the Legislative Analyst’s Office! And now California wants to create another government agency to “defend science” (fund transgender mice studies)? Honestly, you have to admire the chutzpah here. While red states work to create their own cost-cutting DOGE agencies, the state that’s presently billions of dollars in debt said ‘Nah, yknow what we really need? Our own version of the agency
that funded the Wuhan Lab.’
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Brown’s Adminpocalypse Now |
Last week, Alex Shieh, a Brown University sophomore, emailed 3,500+ Brown administrators asking them to explain “how Brown students would be impacted if your position was eliminated” and to describe “what tasks you performed in the past week.” Shieh, a computer science and economics double major (future tech bro? lol), also directed them to his online database — which used AI to assess the relative bullshittery of their roles (categories included “bullshit job” and “redundancy”) — and asked for feedback on its accuracy. (Evidently, Shieh thought it was “ludicrous” that $93,064-per-year Brown has twice as many nonfaculty employees than professors). Brown is reviewing whether Shieh violated its policies related to causing “emotional/psychological harm,” (not joking), but whatever, if he gets expelled, DOGE should just hire this kid. Or better yet… Solana, given that Shieh identified himself as
a “journalist” for The Brown Spectator in the emails, should we try to get to him first?
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In March 2024, BlackRock launched the BUIDL Fund, turning U.S. Treasury bonds into digital tokens on the blockchain Ethereum, making them easy to trade anytime. Arkham, the platform tracking real-time blockchain activity, shows the fund has grown to over $1.5 billion. Arkham reveals Ethena holds $1.3 billion in BUIDL tokens, while Ondo Finance has $110 million. By following these token movements, Arkham shows how banking and blockchain are merging, with BUIDL part of a $5.2 billion market offering a 4.34% return.
Follow Blackrock here. |
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this week, the crew talks signal-gate and that “houthi pc small group.” plus: snow white and the cgi dwarves, katherine maher’s testimony, “hot wheels,” and everything is ghibli |
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our current immigration situation? economic refugees being smuggled in only to get deported. but what if the border had a paywall system instead? interesting thought experiment from guest matt mireles |
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a web developer accidentally spawned a misaligned ai that got obsessed with memes about buttholes, started its own religion, became a cryptomillionaire, and now… wants to save humanity? fascinating debut piece from new pw staff writer blake! |
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