We’re now a week into WIRED’s breathless reporting on six young men working for Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency, which is presently at war with America’s Deep State. As Elon seems to enjoy his haters, angry writers have turned on the general’s young team. “DOGE Teen Owns ‘Tesla.Sexy LLC’ and Worked at Startup That Has Hired Convicted Hackers,” runs the latest accidentally awesome headline. And this filthy zoomer has access to security clearance! Still not terrified? Okay, did I mention he goes by the name “Big Balls” online? Man, I am honestly not even mad at these journalists anymore. I’m just embarrassed for them. Guys, I understand you think an elected president firing a bunch of unelected bureaucrats is fascism, and we’ll probably never see eye to eye on that. But some advice, writer to writer: when trying to destroy someone, try not pointing out they’re cool as hell.

Over the weekend, an unidentified band of breakfast goblins made off with 100,000 eggs — about $40,000 worth — stolen from a distribution facility in Pennsylvania. State police suggested they might be used “for vandalizing purposes.” Yes, because when you steal literally 100,000 eggs, the first thing you do is organize the largest egging operation in human history (??). While the suggestion seems stupid, it begs the question: why steal this many eggs? Eggs are a staple of the American diet, and they’re seen as a proxy for national economic health — prices are surging due to the ongoing bird flu epidemic, but the resale value of the stolen haul still doesn’t seem worth the hassle. Is some anti-capitalist commune building an army of raw-egg-slonking super-people? Honestly, I’m befuddled. But if we all wake up next week to a yolk-coated Statue of Liberty, you heard it here first.

The so-called “Science Museum” in London is currently featuring a new exhibit that makes a bold proclamation about everyone’s favorite plastic building block / nuisance to bare feet everywhere / first sign of your kid’s autism — Legos can be anti-LGBT. That’s right, bigot: embark on a self-guided tour of the museum’s new “stories of queer communities, experiences, and identities” section and you’ll soon see a display of Lego bricks, alongside a caption about how the plastic blocks may enforce the idea that heterosexuality “is the norm.” Their reasoning? (I’m not making this up): people supposedly are keen to describe Legos as having male or female parts made to “mate” with each other. Look. England. You’ve had a good run. I love your pubs. But please, for the love of Western Civilization, let us do a reverse-Beatles situation and bring our vibe shift to your shores before your entire country topples like a tower of heteronormative plastic bricks. 

“We should put ‘Moon Should Be a State’ in Times Square.” 

That’s what Chris and Adam at AdQuick told us. We thought about it for half a second and said, yeah, you’re right. What started as an online rallying cry is now a seven-story, 10,000-square-foot Nasdaq billboard towering over New York. IRL ads are unskippable. People share them. They signal you’re larger than life. AdQuick makes it easy. One platform, millions of displays — airports, transit, downtowns — booked like digital ads, no middlemen, no hassle. One person can do what once took a team.

You have considered Greenland. You have considered Canada. Dear Mr. President, may we humbly suggest... Moon Should Be a State.

Take your moonshot with AdQuick.

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nic carter exposed “operation choke point 2.0” in a series of pieces for pirate wires breaking down the biden admin’s war against crypto — now, a house committee hearing has just been held with the exact same title, as crypto industry vets testified against hostile actions from the previous administration. here’s a recap of everything that went down (brandon watched cspan so you don’t have to)

we put a freaking ‘moon should be a state ad’ in times square. no, this is not an early april fools joke. read more on solana’s experience visiting the masterpiece / why we decided to adorn the nyc skyline with our (now-famous) pw slogan. thank you for making this possible!!!

solana messed around and wrote another all-time pw classic, this time about the ongoing war between elected power and our federal bureaucracy. two things this war has exposed that we all can agree on? the deep state is real, and it really does run our country

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