In a wild-eyed piece of reporting from the New York Times reminiscent of that Always Sunny meme with what’s his face connecting dots of a grand conspiracy, writers argued, and demonstrated, Elon Musk is poised to benefit from DOGE’s cost-cutting recommendations since almost all of the organizations that he’s targeted are already targeting him. This, they strongly implied, was evidence of corruption. But isn’t the obviously much larger problem here that the entire bureaucratic state sought to destroy Elon after he took Twitter private, and signaled he’d switched sides politically? Elon isn’t specifically going after agencies and departments focused on him. Every agency and department is focused on him. And for the Times, an outlet that frames itself as an important platform for speaking truth to power? By all means, keep covering the bad rocket man. But I also might consider taking a second look at the bureaucrats running our country.

Trump’s DOGE announced $881 million in cuts to Education Department contracts, axing research projects and DEI training grants like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. Clearly, he wants to executive-order the Department of Education out of existence. Which, legally speaking, he can’t do. And that’s the funny thing: you can wear your wizard’s hat and magic-wand agencies into existence, but you can’t magic-wand them out. One administration burns holes in their pockets, chasing delusions of bureaucratic grandeur by summoning agencies from the ether, and voila — they’re unkillable. Want to delete one? You have to get through dungeons of “apportionment requirements” and boss battles with “statutory obligations.” These DOGE cuts — while real — just shuffle the $881 million elsewhere within the Education Department. Congress sets the budget, and agencies must spend their full apportionments. Turns out spending is easy, but saving takes an act of God (or even less likely — Congress).

As the trade war heats up, China is reportedly targeting (more) American tech companies in a “chip-gathering exercise” as they prepare to meet Trump at the negotiating table. CCP officials are apparently building a list of businesses — Google, Apple, Nvidia, Synopsys, etc. — they can hit with antitrust probes, aiming to influence tech execs in the President’s inner circle. Nice try, I guess, but threatening the only companies you haven’t already banned is going to backfire. If China’s recent tech spy-ops tell us anything, it’s that they need the U.S. far more than we need them. American companies, newly aligned with the Dealmaker in Chief, are building the rails of the next-generation economy, while China tries to suck the tap of the American market dry. So go off, Xi. Target American tech, and watch how fast Daddy Trump revokes access to the U.S. market.

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