Continuing the tech takeover of the incoming administration, Trump named Silicon Valley veteran VC, All-In bestie, and PayPal mafia member David Sacks as “White House A.I. and Crypto Czar.” Some in the establishment media are framing Sacks as a “Musk crony” or “Trump fundraiser guy,” but a decades-long leader in the tech industry with an overwhelmingly winning record seems perfectly suited to make “America the clear global leader” in crypto and AI, which will define the geopolitical and economic stage in coming years. If a competent operator who has good working relationships with the people in charge of our country feels scandalous to you, that’s probably just the whiplash of changing from our former AI czar, who spent her career locking up California potheads as she failed her way to the Vice Presidency, before doing literally nothing for the industry. Controversial, but IMO? A government that actually works is a good thing.

Last week, WaPo framed a VC-backed security system called Sauron as an irrational “push to ease growing anxiety over safety” by the rich. After all, they argued, SF crime is down! Of course, the article failed to explain that same crime data shows that before 2024 the majority of safety-related crimes went up every year since 2020; DoorDash for drug paraphernalia services for homeless addicts emerged; retail theft was legalized; and Daniel Penny was put on trial for subduing a murderous crazy person. Why is the Post still trying to normalize a society where crime is legal, it's illegal to defend yourself from murder, and anyone who has a problem with Mad Max shit is just "anxious"? No idea, and at this point I don’t care. I’ll do what it takes to defend the people I love, as should you, and Brooklyn-based writers who hate themselves can eat outside with their friends.

A growing number of Democrats in Congress are criticizing Elon’s plan for DOGE — Rep. Maxwell Frost said the project was nothing more than billionaires “cosplaying as government officials,” while “DMV-Clerk-physiognomy” Rep. Zoe Lofgren immediately dismissed the idea of cutting government waste as somehow being “illegal” (??). But Democrat John Fetterman rolled up to a scrum of Capitol Hill reporters in his XXXL basketball shorts last week and boldly dissented: “I admire Mr. Musk,” he said, “he is on a different team, but that doesn’t make me an enemy.” Hmm. No mention of fascism? No critique of Elon’s insane idea to *checks notes* save money? Incredible, the Fetterman arc from braindead normie to commonsense voice in a sea of lunatics continues. Dems, in case you’re wondering how you lost the popular vote: maybe consider the most sensible man in your party is a stroke patient who was non-verbal two years ago. 

An aversion to people speaking for him, and getting everything wrong, was one of the motivating factors that first got Solana writing — he is incredibly (obnoxiously, one might say) picky about how and where his voice is used. Historically, that means he’s just been speaking for himself, and, importantly, by himself. But all that changed when ElevenLabs cloned his voice, and blew our minds. They nailed the tone and inflection so naturally that we embedded it into our “We Are the Media Now” article, and all his articles moving forward. ElevenLabs generates high-quality, human-like speech from text in 29 languages. If you don’t have a voice as awesome as our intrepid founder / CEO / billionaire philanthropist internet legend, you can choose from thousands of voices across different ages, accents, and regions. Their text-to-speech is contextually aware and emotionally rich, ideal for audiobook publishers, creators making video voiceovers or podcasts, video game creators, and film companies. The audio natively integrates into our stack, giving our audience the opportunity to listen to our articles like a podcast.

Explore ElevenLabs here.

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this week, the whole crew is together in miami breaking down the united healthcare ceo’s assassination and deranged response online. plus: hunter biden’s pardon, elon’s pay package, and a married couple dukes it out on pirate idol

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