Following seven breathless years warning us about the dangers inherent of a “fascist” President Trump, MSNBC’s Morning Joe and Mika Brzezinski declared… honestly, you guys? We’re just over it. In fact, Mika explained, the pair reached out to Trump for a little healing moment, Trump said yes I’m in, the pair went down to Mar-a-Lago to meet our new (old) president, and they had a lovely conversation. The cynical read is obvious. MSNBC is hemorrhaging viewers, a national political realignment has increasingly called into question the wisdom of an entire network dedicated to Antifa cat mom shit, and Joe and crew want to stay relevant. But Mika also spoke eloquently on her hope to move beyond the last five years of political warfare, and to move forward in conversation with people she doesn’t agree with — whether they be politicians or the people who voted for them. And that? Just sounds kind of nice. My friends, I am tentatively in.

Monday, a deranged homeless man murdered three random New Yorkers, just 30 days after being released onto the streets following at least eight arrests, including one for attacking an officer in a psychiatric facility. The Manhattan Borough President said it was a mystery why the killer “wasn’t in a long-term in-patient psychiatric setting,” but I am frankly mystified by his mystification. TLDR: the guy is too crazy for the madhouse, and the local government is effectively pro-crime in every case that can’t potentially undermine a presidential election, so the city let him go and crossed their fingers. Then a bunch of people died. Mystery solved — almost as fast as a Venezuelan gangbanger living in a room we pay for can plan a smash-and-grab on his taxpayer-funded phone. The problem is simple: crime is illegal, and Batman isn’t real or here to save us. Here’s hoping they at least free Daniel Penny.

This week, days after Biden gave the greenlight, Ukraine struck inside Russian territory with American-made ballistic missiles. Why is Joe spending the final days of his presidency pushing us even closer to World War III rather than chilling in his lawn chair? Most likely he’s just beating the war drum one last time on behalf of the defense primes that cut him decades-worth of campaign checks. But there is a more… interesting interpretation. What if Biden really did secretly align with Trump? First, he endorsed a weak candidate, refused to campaign for her, and rocked that Trump hat after Pelosi kicked him to the curb. Now, after a chipper lunch with Don, he’s given his successor a carrot to negotiate with Putin. Sure, that may be too 4D Chess for a guy who lacks bowel control, but… okay, I guess I just prefer the thought of funny Biden conspiracies to nuclear armageddon.

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