In characteristically Surreal Language, President Trump formally announced Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy (?) will be heading up the Department of Government Efficiency — or D.O.G.E., as Elon insists, a playful nod to the eponymous meme and beloved shitcoin. Cutting useless government waste, and firing meddlesome bureaucrats, could be “the Manhattan Project of our time,” said the president. Liquidating the DOE? The TSA? And pretty much everyone who so much as touches enforcement on housing regulation? The boon will not only come in money saved, but in things we will again be capable of doing once the government’s well-funded army of militant nannies is no longer paid to stop us. Cutting the mall cops isn’t building, but it does enable a kind of progressive vision we all forgot that we could even have. There’s no more primacy in process. Show me what you got done this week. Or you’re fired.

The Village People are signaling they’ll “seriously think about” singing Y.M.C.A. at Trump’s upcoming inauguration if they’re asked, according to the band’s manager Karen Willis, who added “we’re expecting their call any day now.” In 2016 the group gave an unequivocal “no” to Trump’s request to perform at his first inauguration, and just last year sent a cease-and-desist over a video of Trump dancing to “Macho Man” at Mar-a-Lago. Since then, their tune has changed: the group has declined to block Trump’s use of the song this year, and when asked about January 20, they’re saying “this time is a little different…it’s [Trump’s] anthem.” While their appearance at the inauguration isn’t confirmed, their words are a confirmation that the vibe has shifted — no, lurched. Culturally, what’s more salient? The Washington Post declining a Harris endorsement, or the leader of the free world dancing to a live reunion tour 70’s disco banger shortly before taking the oath of office? I rest my case.

Trump is reportedly planning to shake up the White House Briefing Room, giving MAGA-aligned news outlets access to press briefings. This will surely trigger mainstream outlets like CNN (laying off staff) and MSNBC (being sold off by Comcast), but isn’t their outrage sort of the point? The media’s most hysterical fearmongers are out of step with the American people. So give us a new kind of derangement, Don. I want Jim Acosta libs and kooky QAnon “citizen journalists” at the table. Let the Nelk boys ask about weed legalization. Give Alex Jones a mic and let him rant about Bohemian Grove. But to keep things running smoothly, you’ll also need a fair and balanced zoomer in the mix — intrepid Pirate Wires reporter Riley Nork, for example. It’s time to ask the real questions: Bike buyback program status? Moon statehood when? And has Barron seen my Minecraft request? Mr. President, I’m ready to serve.

The ElevenLabs text-to-speech clone is so good, we can’t stop Solana from having his clone read him everything—recipes, invoices, even the Declaration of Independence. Solana himself said, “Why would I want to listen to anyone other than myself read this?” Their technology nails the tone and inflection perfectly, which is why we embedded it into our “We Are the Media Now” article and will continue using it for all future articles. ElevenLabs generates high-quality, human-like speech from text in 29 languages. If you don’t have a voice as awesome as our intrepid founder / CEO / billionaire philanthropist internet legend, you can choose from thousands of voices across different ages, accents, and regions. Ideal for audiobook publishers, creators making video voice overs or podcasts, video game creators, and film companies. The audio integrates seamlessly into our stack, allowing our audience to listen to our articles like a podcast.

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enraged by trump’s win, radical feminists in the 4b movement are shaving their heads and pledging no dating, marriage, sex or kids. their male relatives find it refreshing.

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