Biden’s rabid FTC chief Lina Khan scored a partial victory in her crusade against Amazon this week, when a Seattle judge dismissed a handful of her charges, while generally greenlighting the case. 18 states are alleging the company’s practices have resulted in higher prices (no) and lower-quality goods (that people seem to love). Of course, what’s really happening is Lina Khan believes large businesses are inherently threatening to government power, and to “democracy,” and should therefore not exist — a radical reinterpretation of antitrust law she outlined in her now infamous 2017 piece “Amazon’s Antitrust Paradox.” According to today’s leftists in power, consumer harm no longer matters. Making too much money is itself a crime. And the crime of prosperity? Will henceforth be punished. Sure, everything will be more expensive after Lina’s done. But take solace in the fact that you are, in some nebulous, partisan, theoretical manner, more “free.”

Surgeons in Switzerland just performed a successful operation on a pig 5,780 miles away in Hong Kong: a remote endoscopy made possible by… Sony Interactive Entertainment. Surgeons used a combination of a direct WebSocket protocol for real-time data transfer and a Playstation 3 Move controller (yes those still exist) to make the operation possible. Apparently this tech stack is sufficient to perform the micro-adjustments necessary for safe surgery, and allows for surgical care in remote areas. Gamers worldwide can rejoice knowing the 10,000 hours of our childhood spent playing Call of Duty were in fact NOT wasted — rather, we were undergoing a rigorous pre-med dexterity training program, and can now change careers and enjoy the white collar status denied to us for so long. Sadly, it would seem this opportunity is only available to console players, so read it and weep “PC master race.” Playstation bros FTW.

Following this week's vice presidential debate, Politico offered their analysis on the topic most pressing for Americans: JD Vance’s facial hair. While the hard-hitting news outlet noted the Senator’s beard would be a “positive” in the eyes of some voters, they also noted “to others, especially women, it can be negative, conveying aggression and opposition to feminist ideals” (apparently unaware of the fact that all dudes who brag about being ‘male feminists’ — without fail — have bushy hipster beards to accompany their craft beer obsessions). Meanwhile, our friends at Politico also noted Tim Walz’s frequent bug-eyed expressions at the debate were not, in fact, indicative of questionable bowel control, but rather signs of his “passion” and “emotional intensity.” Incredible, non-partisan analysis. I look forward to their next essential deep dive: “Why the allegations of Doug Emhoff slapping his ex-girlfriend show strength and firmness in a time of uncertainty.” 

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