New York City’s Mayor Eric Adams was indicted in a federal corruption investigation this week — making him the first mayor in the city’s history to face a federal charge while in office, the Times notes. Did he do it? Looks like probably. But let’s not be precious or naive. This is the city of Boss Tweed. New York’s history of corrupt Democrats is literally famous. Adams is also a staunch critic of his own party, and he’s poised to be replaced by “Public Advocate” Jumaane Williams, a pro-crime, pro-illegal immigration, open socialist. My sense is there’s more to this story than meets the eye. In any case, there’s no happy ending here available for people who aren’t crazy. Your choices are the Hamburgler, or the Joker, which means the only thing worth rooting for is an asteroid. We had a great run, folks. It’s time to wipe the board, and start from scratch.

Wednesday, following news OpenAI would give up its nonprofit status and CEO Sam Altman would take up to $10.5 billion worth of equity, CTO Mira Murati and a handful of other executives abruptly left the company. Official reasons included “to do my own exploration” and “explore new opportunities,” but… probably? These longtime execs are angry their “fight the good fight” safety laboratory is now a for-profit — *spooky voice* — doomsday company of precisely the sort they dedicated their lives to stopping. I do get it, I guess, but also let’s be serious. This move was inevitable. Altman was never leaving that kind of cash on the table, which is frankly reassuring. The men behind technology powerful enough to conceivably destroy the world need skin in the game to make sure that doesn’t happen, and a couple (hundred) billion dollars? Get in, loser, we’re saving the world.

The Verge sat down with Mark Zuckerberg for a demo of Meta’s new Orion AR glasses, which the outlet raves look “almost like a normal pair,” while the chain-popping CEO commented “we aspire to build things that look really good.” Then, Zuck shared his belief the new shades will ultimately replace smartphones. Unrealistic? I don’t know. Provided Meta can figure out how to produce Orion at scale (building just one unit currently costs around $10k), Zuck’s predictions may not be so crazy. For one, Meta’s Orion is definitely cooler than the “Snapchat Spectacles” (okay, low bar). But also keep in mind this guy just underwent what is probably (definitely?) the greatest glow-up in tech history, right before our eyes. If anyone in the industry can make the thought of “living even more of our lives inside a toxic waste dump newsfeed” look good, it’s probably him.

A quick perusal of Polymarket — where you can get odds on questions like “Sam Altman out as OpenAI CEO in 2024?” — reveals that the odds of Kamala Harris appearing on SNL currently sit at a very plausible 44%. Oh, did you want to see her dig into actual policy by doing more than *one* TV interview without daddy Walz? Too bad, peasant, here’s a very-not-funny Law and Order parody skit. And while a Kamala-SNL appearance would no doubt deliver the standard MSM slop — a few sketches to remind coastal elites they’re on the ‘right side of history,’ some ‘yay lonely cat lady’ bits to get those Xanax bottles rattling in approval — we would encourage readers to refrain from gauging out their eyes or smashing their computers in rage if they happen to catch any clips. Doing either would prevent you from checking out more cool odds on all of today’s top issues over on Polymarket.

As a reminder, trading on Polymarket is prohibited in the US but you can see the odds for free on Polymarket.com.

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new information suggests biden admin regulators deliberately killed off crypto-friendly silvergate in an attempt to decapitate the us crypto industry

nic’s bombshell new piece above is a follow-up to this story he wrote for pirate wires back in march of last year, exploring operation chokepoint 2.0’s role in harming america’s entire financial system. check it out here if you missed it

a san francisco voter guide for people who aren’t insane

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