Ahead of next Tuesday’s debate, Kamala is pushing to modify the rules, and keep mics on at all times. While it’s amusing to see this call for ‘transparency’ from a candidate who has done *one* softball TV interview (also, lol at the pivot from her party’s previous position in favor of mic cuts after a restrained Trump literally ended Joe Biden’s career), this request obviously has more to do with the fact that Team Coconut is desperate for a Kamala “I’m Speaking” line (which will quickly be printed on t-shirts, coming soon to a Hot Girl Walk near you). This is asymmetric warfare, after all. A Trump interjection = ‘mean fascist won’t let woman speak,’ meanwhile Kamala can interrupt constantly because ‘yas kween’ or something. Whatever, I actually don’t care. Just sweet talk me about the wall both candidates are building now, and Kamala, let me know what year specifically I need to be ready for WWIII.

After the Great Adderall Shortage of 2022-2024, US drug authorities have decided to up the dose. The DEA just increased Vyvanse’s production limit by 24%, following pressure from their pals over at the FDA. Yes, it’s the DEA who controls both which companies can produce and how much each company can produce. Oh, and also, “each company’s limit is secret.” So, to recap: a shadowy federal agency controls the production of medications everyone wants (because there are approximately 5 members of the population left who can write an email without stimulants). Backdoor dealings between another federal agency (with a revolving door to Big Pharma) grant “permission” for more pills. Now, the DEA/FDA complex decides the specific companies that receive this free revenue in total secrecy. Honestly, it’s a level of corruption you could only think up if you were out of your mind on pills. Speaking of which, I have a new theory about that shortage…

On Monday, the New Yorker posted the cover of this week’s issue, which features white children with darker-skinned nannies, all of whom seem happy at the park where the illustration is set. Can you guess what happened next? RACE!! WAR!!! “I think it's just kinda weird cause it looks like slavery,” someone commented. “Rich white people having their kids safely raised by the ‘help,’ the folks they don't pay enough and want to deport,” someone else complained. But how far are we going to take this? Should we ban non-whites from working in food service, where they might cook meals for other people’s kids? Can non-whites be teachers, who are paid to discipline other people’s children? For what it’s worth, I personally fall on the side of liberty, capitalism, and color-blindness: if everyone consents, gets paid, and is happy, I really don’t give a shit who is doing chores for me.

If one were founding a payroll company and one were talking to customers to discover the biggest pain points to solve, one would find that payroll compliance is the worst part of the job. Strangely, no payroll startup has elegantly tackled this problem until now. Warp is the payroll solution that puts this state-level compliance on autopilot, so founders and startups can focus on more consequential things. It’s what we use here at Pirate Wires, and while Warp never asked for our comment, they did happen to build a product that solves our biggest pain point. 

Get started with Warp here. Also: Pirate Wires and Warp are hosting an SF Happy Hour 9/06. RSVP here.

SUPPORTED BY

our astronauts are stuck in space, anduril’s arsenal-1, US manufacturing, tariffs, google, trump, media, our vanishing internet, palmer’s most heretical thoughts, and hope for the future

pirate wires #126 // brazil bans x as the global war on speech continues, the overton window shifts to jailing founders, and facing the despotism now before us

this week, brad polumbo joins the pod to talk mark zuckerberg’s regret for cooperating with the biden-harris administration during covid. plus: pavel durov’s arrest, wired calls out tech leaders over trump’s “very fine people” comments, and 4 new contestants join our pirate idol pod competition.  

©2024 Pirate Wires Corp. 215 NW 24th St. Ste. 800 Miami, FL 33127

Unsubscribe or Manage email Preferences 

Advertise with Pirate Wires

X

YouTube

Insta