I wasn’t surprised when Brazil’s tyrannical dictator judge banned X, deplatforming a nation of 200 million people. I wasn’t surprised when Bluesky’s Jay Graber, along with a host of fraud academics and Elon-deranged Hollywood actors, took the side of the tyrannical dictator judge. Hell, I wasn’t even surprised when the Guardian published its third article calling for Elon Musk to be arrested — though I did raise an eyebrow when I discovered the author Robert Reich, former United States Secretary of Labor, was truly only 4’11 (I earnestly thought that was disinformation, and assumed it why the little guy has been so angry). But I was surprised by the alarming silence of industry leaders, presently cuckoo for Coconut in the name of saving democracy, on the topic of industry leaders being threatened with prison for laws that do not exist in this country. Get it together, folks. Democracy’s on the ballot.

Gen Z needs “rizz,” and AI wingmen are the answer. Despite forcing the rapid descent of the dating market into dystopian hell over the last decade, the four horsemen of the apocalypse are here to help: Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and Grindr report they’re building AI chatbots to help users with everything from thinking up icebreakers to building their profiles. Grindr’s Chief Product Officer explained their feature as “that friend in the bar who’s helping you to ask someone out.” This moronic initiative that literally every company has tried comes on the heels of weak earnings performance — Bumble slashed its revenue outlook and Tinder reported a seventh consecutive quarter of declines. Honestly, how do you fumble this bad? These companies had everything. Destructive, manipulative, addictive algorithm? Check. Mainstream popularity? Check. Sex? Check. But in the end they sort of just made everyone miserable, and something tells me an AI chatbot can’t help that.

This weekend, NYT published a psychotic op-ed called “I Swore Off Air-Conditioning, and You Can, Too,” in which the Kansas-based decel author describes how he and his wife only use A/C twice a year (to “slow climate change”). Details: there are electric fans all over the house, they don’t have a dishwasher or clothes dryer (which give off heat and humidity), they spritz themselves with spray bottles, and — most importantly — they spend as much time as they can not in the house, but at a nearby park where there’s shade. Frankly, this guy’s living conditions sound pretty miserable, but what’s more notable is that, in an article meant to convince the reader to live without A/C, he proves that a house without A/C is literally unlivable (sad!). The lesson? If someone’s asking you to live like a medieval peasant in 2024, you’re safe to just ignore.

Here at Pirate Wires, every minute we spend on administrative tasks is a minute we’re not spending writing. This is why we moved over to Warp to handle our payroll and compliance. Our old payroll software had us paying for 50 features we didn’t use (no, we’re not going to send decorated welcome emails to our new hires) and failed to do the basics well. With Warp, we’re able to process payroll in seconds, onboard new employees in minutes, and pay contractors with the click of a button. Which gives us more hours in the month to actually make our payroll. 

Get a Warp demo here. Also: Pirate Wires and Warp are hosting an SF Happy Hour 9/06. RSVP here.

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this week, brad polumbo joins the pod to talk mark zuckerberg’s regret for cooperating with the biden-harris administration during covid. plus: pavel durov’s arrest, wired calls out tech leaders over trump’s “very fine people” comments, and 4 new contestants join our pirate idol pod competition.  

wikipedia editors churn news articles from an overwhelmingly left-leaning list of “reliable sources” into neutrality-emblazoned fact

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