Over at Tinder, which framed itself as the solution to finding romance for over a decade but has somehow only ever succeeded in making horny people miserable, revenue has plummeted for the sixth quarter in a row. Tech journalists credited the downward trend to the “culture” of Zoomers, who apparently favor long-term relationships over “hooking up,” as if marriage is a novel concept invented by children under 25 with broccoli-shaped haircuts. But at Bumble, a more long-term-oriented dating app, the girls are no longer interested in reaching out to men — which recently triggered another wave of incorrect opinions. Clearly, the real problem is Zoomers aren’t interested in sex of any kind, casual or committed. That, in the history of the world, is pretty much a new phenomenon, and if we could all get off our iPhones for five seconds maybe we could figure out what the hell is… ah, shit, nevermind.

Acknowledging they “missed the mark” on their controversial new iPad ad, which TechCrunch called “disgusting” and celebrities like Hugh Grant (??) thought was “destructive,” Apple has apologized and announced it will not run it on TV. I didn’t like the ad much either, but it must be said: this is cucked behavior. A couple negative articles, a few angry semi-viral tweets, and you’re ready to do a PR 180? Sad! My recommendation? Double down on the rage-bait, flood the market with ads, and force all Americans to watch the hydraulic press smash our cherished artifacts. Ride the wave of pushback to an angry mob — you’ll probably get more customers for a (frankly) boring-looking product than you could’ve otherwise dreamed.

A recent Washington Post report detailed the ways in which DEI is currently experiencing a bit of a falling out in corporate America as a result of widespread backlash — last year’s Eli Lilly shareholder letter used the acronym 48 times, for instance, while this year the phrase is nowhere to be found. I guess it’s encouraging that companies aren’t promoting straight up racist hiring practices as often, but the report does go on to reveal that, in many cases, the practices themselves aren’t being abandoned. They’re just being rebranded. For example, the Society for Human Resource Management (see: Karens but obsessed with RBG) is now referring to DEI as “IED,” placing the emphasis more on “inclusion.” But guess what? Moving two letters around doesn’t mean you’re not racist, it just proves you’re kinda dumb, and once again stresses the need for meritocracy.

If you’ve been involved with company ops in any capacity, you’ll be familiar with the payroll-related snail mail letters that companies tend to receive from different states prompting you to log into a Bush-era website to meet some payroll compliance demand. Warp is the payroll and compliance platform designed to put this process on autopilot. Each state takes just 5 minutes to set up, and as the name “Warp” implies, the entire platform is designed to make payroll and compliance an extremely speedy process. While most payroll solutions are built for HR admins, Warp is built for founders and startups who have less time on their hands. Stop receiving “notices” from the Colorado Department of Revenue and get back to building.

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jack dorsey on his exit from bluesky, how twitter lost its way, jack’s strategy for ending censorship forever, new background on the elon saga, and the death of social media as we know it

from the christ-like resurrection of america’s frat boy to the chadification of tech, anti-masculinity is over; chad maximalism has arrived

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