According to Axios, 3 out of 4 “knowledge workers” are using AI at their jobs (including Baby Boomers!), but they’re keeping it quiet for fear of convincing their bosses that they don’t actually need a person whose full-time work includes receiving a task, and then asking a robot to complete that task. For what it’s worth, I never mind when one of my editors answers a question of mine with a screenshot from ChatGPT, and we’re nowhere near the point an AI could replace my writers. Trust me, they’re disrespectful and overpaid, I’ve explored my options — and not only for replacing my employees. I would absolutely love an AI clone. The internet is exhausting. I’m ready for a dog (his name will be Alamo), a house in the Keys, and a tiki bar. The Softer Side of Terminator can write about tech trends and UFOs for a little while, Dad needs a nap.

Yesterday Apple released an ad for its new iPad Pro, in which a large hydraulic press slowly destroys and flattens a pile of instruments, TVs, cameras, record players, art supplies, etc. When the press opens back up, instead of flattened debris, the viewer is presented with the new iPad. Get it? Of course, X’s reaction to the ad (entirely negative, sometimes even pearl-clutching) was as much a part of the hype cycle as its subject yesterday, and suffice it to say, everyone — even basest of the tech bros — seemed to hate it. But for this group, especially those with e/acc in their bio, I have a question: What do you think acceleration looks like? Better woodwind instruments? Violins with more strings? What do you think AI is going to do? Guys, this might be awkward to hear, but the (contrarian, controversial, provocative) Apple iPad ad is exactly what you've been asking for. You're just not ready to hear that yet.

Tuesday, bankruptcy lawyers for FTX announced all customers who lost money when the firm collapsed would receive cash payments equivalent to the value of assets they kept in the failed exchange, plus interest. The news has been greeted with some grumbling because payments will be based on the (generally much lower) value of crypto back in November 2022, but everyone seems basically ready to forget the whole nightmare. Now, a bigger question: Should our homegrown, cargo-panted, schizo-posting autist languish in prison for the next quarter-century while suave foreign-born rivals like CZ get off with a slap on the wrist? I’m leaning toward “probably not,” but whatever — there’s no accounting for a judge’s taste.

We’ve all had that one Zoom call where we clicked the link, the software took 5 minutes to update, we joined late, and then Zoom connected to our next door neighbor’s Samsung TV instead of just using the laptop speakers. The alternative would’ve been to just use FaceTime: it works every time, has zero frills, and takes almost no effort. Most payroll systems today are metaphorically Zoom: designed in 2015, bloated, and time consuming. Warp, on the other hand, is how payroll and compliance would work if Apple designed it: compliance is handled automatically, everything is optimized for speed (takes just 10 minutes to set up), and it’s sexy too. Consider moving to a payroll platform that values speed of execution and user experience as much as you do.

Get started with Warp here.

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