In keeping with the EU’s longstanding efforts to hamstring American companies, a top court decreed Facebook shall no longer be permitted to “exploit public information” about its users’ sexual orientations while serving ads. In support of their decision, they cite “free speech,” a concept that has not meaningfully existed in Europe for decades. While this constitutes a small hit to Zuck, it’s mostly a self-own. Believe it or not, there’s still a small class of entrepreneurs making a go of it abroad, and they rely on targeted ads to reach a small, underserved customer base that appreciates the personalization. Now, the unthinkable: German lesbians force-fed frilly sundresses, and Italian twinks blinded to the perfect lip plumper. GDP drops. This once-great continent continues to decline. Annoying for Facebook, but truly sad for the Euroqueers.

The Biden campaign announced the team that just nuked TikTok will… continue using TikTok. The campaign promises “enhanced security measures” (what? lol), and adds “when the stakes are this high in the election, we are going to use every tool we have to reach young voters where they are” (they are on a literal spy app, I’m told (literally by him)). But separate from the question of whether Xi’s TikTok is right for America, there’s the question of whether it’s right for Biden. Adding laser eyes to a “HOPE”-style pic of Joe in Ray Bans eating an ice cream cone or whatever else his team is giggling over this week is never going to hit as hard as your average food review, let alone a standard-issue gyrating TikTok girlie. The content game is brutal, and something tells me you just lost the Chinese propaganda boost. Good luck!

Last week, the NYT profiled several women in their mid-30s who still sleep with stuffed animals. It would have been benign — maybe even cute — had the author resisted the urge to turn it into an all-feelings-are-valid, therapy-themed affirmation of the women’s behavior, implicitly daring readers to deny these girl bosses (one, an entertainment journalist) their lived experience of an emotional-support Mr. Fluffle. The Paper of Record even brought in a clinical psychologist to say “[in] chaotic times, adults may feel safer in the presence of their stuffed animals.” Sorry, no. When you’re 33, sucking your thumb and crying for your blankie are no longer valid ways to cope, even if mom and dad can’t tuck you in at night. I’ll entertain the notion every feeling is valid (maybe), but some are still embarrassing as hell. Ladies, I’m begging you, please just keep some of this stuff in your journal.

on the pod this week, the pirate wires crew wonders: are the ivy league palestine protesters really just seizing the moment to glamp with their friends?

google concludes (they promise!) a decade of unhinged activism, brian armstrong’s advice for sundar, DHH on his path to mission-first, and the end of tech’s silent winter

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