Unfriendly strength is the kind of approach everyone imagines when they hear the term “sleazy salesman.” Think Wolf of Wall Street.
These sellers are pushy, arrogant, and even dishonest—but they can be effective at closing when mild-mannered people are convinced (or intimidated) by their strength. They do, however, miss a ton of opportunities by being off-putting jerks. You don’t get the best ROI being a douchebag.
Unfriendly weakness happens when a sales rep has too much of an ego to actually help the customer. They’re not eager to engage in conversations, they ignore emails, don’t follow up—and when they do, they can be curt or disinterested.
These reps usually hate their jobs and it shows. They don’t close deals—then complain about why they don’t close deals.
Friendly weakness is what many tech founders fall into. They don’t see themselves as “in sales.” Oftentimes, they’re so afraid of being seen as a sleazy salesman that they overcorrect and act too submissive to their prospects. They don’t lead conversations; they get led:
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You want a discount? “Sure, anything for a customer! Wouldn’t want to upset you!” 🥰
- You don’t want to sign a contract? “Makes sense! Let’s go by the honor system! I trust you.” 🤝
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You’re going with a competitor? “WelI, I don’t want to come across as desperate so I won’t try to stop you!” 😌
Tech founders often over-index on friendly weakness in selling, because they assume it’s the “friendliness” that closes deals—but they’re missing the strength necessary to handle the tension present in all sales conversations.
Friendly strength is the ability to lead a sales conversation to the right decision for the customer, without being pushy, dishonest, or submissive. This is the attitude that wins deals reliably over the long term.
You can still be friendly and lead a conversation to a closed deal:
1️⃣ Start with the conviction that your solution will absolutely help them with their business.
2️⃣ Once you have that conviction, you should be EXCITED to lead that conversation. If you know you can make someone else successful, how could you not show up eager to lead on a sales call?
3️⃣ Ask questions and actually listen. Don’t just recite your pitch. People want to feel heard and understood. If I know someone understands all the facts about my business, I’m more likely to trust their recommendation.
Remember: A lead agrees to a sales call because they have a problem and they want someone to tell them what to do about it.
You can be the one to confidently tell them exactly what they need to do—without being too aggressive or submissive.
Having friendly strength is just like being a good parent: you can’t give into all your kids’ demands, but you have to be able to tell them what to do with their best interest at heart.
And just like you know better than your kids, you also know better than your customers. Show up to your calls with friendly strength and selling will get much easier.
⚡️ Get Dialed-In
Listen to your last few sales calls. Which of the four sales vibes did you display on those calls?
Practice leading conversations with friendly strength this week.
Let’s crush it (in a friendly way, of course). 💪
