8 Ways to Show Up For Your Loved Ones and Your Community This Valentine’s Day

Because we could all use a little extra love these days.

by Anthony Aurrichio

Okay, so I have to admit something right off the bat: I have never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day. And yet, the current conditions we’re all living under have made it easier for me to take on a different perspective.

With more people than ever dealing with feelings of loneliness and social isolation as a result of the pandemic, it’s clear that we could all use a little extra love these days. That’s why no matter if you dread the holiday or you can’t wait to break out the roses and chocolate, we can use Valentine’s Day this year as an opportunity to safely show a little extra love and gratitude for those we care about -- whether that’s a significant other, a family member, a friend, or folks in your community who could really use it. (There are many different kinds of love, so why limit ourselves?)

Below are various ways to safely show up for others based on how you -- and they -- prefer to express and experience love, aka your “love language”. You can take this quiz to find yours, but hey, we all contain multitudes, so you shouldn’t limit yourself to just one category. With that said: let’s get started!

Words of Affirmation

1) Express gratitude by telling people why you love them.

Sure, actions speak louder than words, but for some, hearing why you’re loved and appreciated is the best gift one can ask for. In a way, it’s also a gift to yourself. Why? Because gratitude has been shown to positively impact physical and emotional health of the person expressing it, and can even help improve sleep! Talk about a gift that keeps on giving.

Here are a few tips as you start thinking about what you want to say to someone:

Be specific. Sometimes hearing a simple “you’re great!” is nice, but it’s always best to be specific about what you appreciate about someone. There’s no rush, so don’t be afraid to take some time to reflect before you start sharing.
Be authentic. Sharing feelings might feel really easy or it might feel really stressful. Either way, stick with what feels right for you. Don’t feel like a poet? Who cares! Do you like to be funny? Go for it! Maybe you want to safely share in a face-to face setting or maybe instead you prefer a phone call, text message, or a good ol’ fashioned letter. Just listen to what feels right.

And if you want to spread the love outside of your personal relationships, you can even take Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to write some letters to those in your community who might need some extra love. For example, you can write to people who are currently incarcerated, patients in children’s hospitals, kids in the foster system, and others.

2) Brighten someone’s day by posting Mirror Messages.

Whether you’re at school or stuck at home with family or roommates, you can spread some love and put a smile on people’s faces with only some sticky notes and a marker. By posting encouraging notes in bathrooms and other places that can trigger low self-esteem, you can help to brighten someone’s day.

To get started, join our Mirror Messages campaign and we’ll hook you up with everything you need to know to really get kind and creative!

(Remember that if you’re posting messages in public places like a school or elsewhere in your community, it’s critical to wear a mask and follow CDC guidelines.)

Gifts

3) Make a mixtape (or a playlist).

When it comes to gifts as a love language, it’s important to keep in mind that it’s all about intentionality, and not materialism. Enter: the mixtape (which in many cases might just be a Spotify playlist because it’s 2021).

Mixes are often associated with romantic love, but Spotify gives us six personalized mixes when we wake up each morning and I don’t think they’re harboring a secret romance for you or me(?). Sure, you can still make a playlist for a romantic interest (and if you do, just keep in mind that this can be a pretty heavy gift), but this is also a wonderful gift for anyone you’re close with.

This is an opportunity to gift someone not only the songs that you both have a personal connection to, but also allows you to share songs that express your love and appreciation for them. There are lots of tips and tricks floating around about how to craft the best mixtape (including this Twitter thread from Lin-Manuel Miranda) if you’re looking for extra guidance.

4) Create a journal of shared memories or photos.

Want another way to get creative? Compiling your favorite shared memories is a wonderful way to celebrate not only your individual friends and family members, but perhaps even an entire friend group or your whole family!

And in COVID-19 times, there hasn’t been a better time for going the digital route. Whether it’s photos or write-ups about your favorite moments together, you can easily compile everything into a PowerPoint or Google Sheet presentation. It’s a fun little hack that will save you money, allow you to share it as quickly as possible, and gives you some wiggle room to play around if you aren’t the most artistic. I’m mostly talking to myself with that last point.

(Of course, if you’re looking to go the more traditional route and purchase a gift, consider buying from some of these Black-owned and/or women-owned businesses!)

Quality Time

5) Volunteer together.

It may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Valentine’s Day, but if you’re looking for a way to build even deeper connections with people in your life, this is a great way to do it.

Sure, maybe including volunteering makes me a bit biased because I work at an organization that creates volunteering campaigns. But that doesn’t mean that I’m just going to shamelessly promote a bunch of DoSomething campaigns that you can do from the safety of your own home! But if I were to do that (which, again, I wouldn’t), it’d probably look something like this:

First, find a cause space that interests you and the person you’re spending time with. Then, search for a volunteer action that feels interesting and that you can do while following CDC safety guidelines. If you share a household, then volunteer together in person! Otherwise, spend some virtual time together by participating over a Zoom call. Whether it’s making DIY masks to keep people safe, writing love letters for others, or learning to cook a new recipe with an older adult, you’re bound to feel even closer with your loved ones and your community.

6) Plan a virtual hangout.

Even though there will be a lot less people spending time in restaurants, movie theaters, or many of the other usual Valentine’s Day spots, there are still plenty of ways to enjoy the same activities from the comfort of your own home. Here are a few ideas:

Host a virtual watch party. Whether there’s two of you or twenty of you, watch a movie together by using one of the many available watch party apps.
Take a virtual class. There is a seemingly endless number of classes that you can take online across a range of topics. For the cash-strapped, take advantage of deals from places like SkillShare that are offering free trials to take classes.
Play a game together. Whether it’s swapping fruits in Animal Crossing or competing in trivia games with Jackbox, this is a really simple way to have fun together.

If you’re able to safely spend time in-person with someone (presumably in your household), then you can obviously still do all of these things at home in the old fashioned way. Plus, one of the bonuses is that these activities can often go hand-in-hand with physical touch, especially if that’s your love language. Even greeting someone with a big hug and wishing them a Happy Valentine’s Day can be a simple, yet appreciated gesture.

Acts of Service

7) Cook a meal for someone.

Cooking a meal for someone is a wonderful act of service for so many reasons. It displays your willingness to dedicate time for them, your thoughtfulness (especially if you cook their favorite meal), and also, who doesn’t love bonding over food? And if someone cooks for you, you can always return the favor by taking care of cleanup for them.

Obviously this is pretty straightforward if you’re fortunate enough to be able to spend time together in-person. But if not, you could still go this route by cooking food and dropping some of it to your family, friends, or significant other. This way, come dinnertime you can both enjoy your meal together over a Zoom or FaceTime!

(Speaking of food and service, you can also serve your local community by donating food to a nearby food bank!)

8) Take care of an errand or chore for someone.

Acts of service are mostly about things you can do to make someone else’s life a little bit easier, so why not accomplish this by taking care of an errand, chore, or other task for someone?

There are many things that you can take care of for others, regardless of whether or not you’re together. Surprises can be nice (and if you want to go that route, here are some thought starters), but sometimes asking someone directly what they need can be a good place to start.